Where there is love there is happiness.
I am talking about real honest love. The kind of love where you cherish the other person, you wish them to be happy and free from suffering and you help them in any way you can.
Now can you say you honestly have this for another person? It seems easy and it is, if we stop thinking about ourselves all the time and what we want or expect from the other person. These days we say we love another and want them to be happy as long as they make us happy right. Well that's not real love, that's attachment. We care so much about ourselves that we cause all kinds of problems around loving those around us.
Take for instance Valentines Day. The most hyped up day of the year! The true meaning of Valentines Day is selflessness and giving whatever we can to the ones we love. But we have made it a true day of suffering for ourselves. If we have a lover we hope they give us a diamond ring, a huge bouquet of flowers or the biggest box of chocolates. If we don't get what we want we are crushed. "They only gave me one candy", we say sadly, wishing we had another partner. Then we decide they aren't good enough for us. "I got them this big present and they only got me a piece of candy. I have to find someone who really loves me! " It's crazy but we do this.
If we don't have a lover then we frantically search for one just for Valentines Day so we can go to the movies or have dinner, do something romantic. But in the back of our mind we are thinking how they must make us happy, give us what we need.
Then there are those of us that can't find anyone. Lonely, single and depressed, we tell ourselves things like I'm no good because I don't have a lover. It's crazy making how we think it is someone else who brings us happiness.
We are the only ones who make us happy, when we change our mind from negative to positive thoughts we can make ourselves happy. Stop thinking they owe me and think how can I cherish them? What can I do to make others happy, can I help in any way? Instead we think only of ourselves and it makes us suffer. We do it to ourselves. If we don't have a lover we are sad, if we do we are sad because we didn't get what we want. All this self cherishing is ruining our lives. If we thought about the other person then we would stop suffering. So instead we think, "I will get them what they want and hope this makes them happy." We rejoice in their good fortune. Then whatever we get there is no expectation, we are happy they are happy. If we don't have a lover we rejoice in others good fortune or we have compassion for their selfish behaviors. We wish all of them to be happy, and this will bring us happiness. We need to stop thinking of ourselves and think of others. This is the way to really love others. Love is what really matters, love is beautiful- real love, giving love and wishing love. I hope you find the love you seek within your heart.
Thanks for your comments!
Here are the others in this blog circle next is Nancy, or see what the others have to say about Love...
1. Becky Cavender
2. Amy Riddle
3. Karrlin Bain
4. Naz Laila
5. Debi Minter
6. Chandra Merod (You are here!)
7. Nancy Lennon
8. Laly Mille -
9. Kathie Gadd
10. Gail Haile
11. Jean Wagner