Reflecting on my experience right now is what I have chosen to write about. But the other amazing women in the circle have even more! So when your finished with my post circle around and enjoy!
It's Christmas time. Usually I am so excited at this time of year but I just can't fully jump for joy this year. I have been so busy with trying to keep the business going, creating interesting classes, revamping my business to become my dream job. Trying to come up with money just to pay the rent for the shop is a big bummer. I know it's the first year of the business and I can expect this. It still gets me down. I don't have time to relax and enjoy the season much.
|My daughter wearing the Santa glasses and singing|
I have been listening to Christmas music, decorating the tree, putting out all the holiday fun things like the glasses that make the Christmas lights into different shapes; Snowpeople, Santa, Angels and Stars. We love these! I have been buying presents, making presents and eventually I will get around to making the cookies. The cookies are a family tradition. My dad used to make cookies every year for Christmas and give them out to us in fancy tins filled with half peanut blossoms and half russian tea cakes. Then he realized he was gluten intolerant and stopped. At that time I decided to take over because the kids and other family members still wanted cookies so, I started making the usual ones my Dad made and then added my own gluten and sugar free versions so my Dad could still eat them.
I have been collecting tins all year!
I just don't have the excitement this year that I usually have. I should have started making dough by now but I have no time. It seems everything I try to do sucks. I decorated the inside of the house in lights before Thanksgiving to get in the mood early. My husband and son complained about how I decorated and said it wasn't very symmetrical so a few weeks later when I was decorating the tree I changed the lights to be more symmetrical yep it looked better they were right. I am realizing when others around me are negative I try to stay positive but deep down it just tears me up inside. It's like a cell in a vast amount of cells, if it has gone bad all the others go bad. I decorate for them so they enjoy the beautiful lights and have a good time. I am trying to be the cell that is healthy and makes all the others healthy. I am trying to stay positive. I meditate and practice compassion for those who are being negative. I guess it just makes me sad how we make ourselves miserable with our negative thoughts. I wish we were positive all the time! I can try to be the anchor but ultimately I can't control other people so I take care of my own mind and sometimes it's easy and other times not.
I decorated the tree and didn't have enough white lights so I had to use red and then multicolored lights. It looks different. It kinda sucks but it's done. It's a decorated tree. My daughter and her friend helped me decorate it. It's got style. My daughter was talking about how she likes it when people decorate their car with the reindeer nose and antlers. I tried to find this... but where does anyone buy these things? Instead I found a nice wreath that is made out of jingle bells and strapped that to the front of the car. When we go down the street we jingle. My daughter loves it! My husband on the other hand does not. It might scratch the paint. Oh no, I didn't think about that! So, it comes down to my half assed way of doing things once again. I have an idea and try to do my best to make it happen, I rush through and it turns out looking different or ruining things. My Husband says I need a plan, I don't think it through. I just want to get it done so we can enjoy it. Now I have put tape on the one bell that was touching the paint, after all and I do want to take care of it! There are many presents under the tree this year. I hope they all like them I worked really hard on getting everyone what they might like this year. Stocking stuffers are my favorite! I love finding rare toys and candies.
We have to be grateful to have so many things like a house, family, health and food. The basics so many don't have. Then on top of it we have presents, and more. I know that without my Husband we would be in a much worse situation this year. He has supported us to no end! Thanks Robin! :) My son has helped out tremendously with my daughter. And the topper is that my Mom is coming for Christmas! Last year she was not so we are excited to have her here. She always made Christmas so much fun!
The fact that this last month has been one of loss to so many people is sad. I pray that those effected by the tragedies of these days are able to cope and be filled with blessings of a peaceful mind. I wish you all a Warm and Happy Holiday Season!
Hop on over to Suzanne McRae to see what she's reflecting on.